I Find My Lack of Resolve Disturbing


I love resolutions. I love goals. I love New Year’s Eve when I can say goodbye to another year and look forward with wide-eyed hope to change and success in the future. Does that always happen? Not really. This year I made a long list of resolutions because I figured if I had more than two or three I could at least succeed at some of them. Did that actually happen?

Did I…

  1. Practice meditation for at least one minute a day? Not really.
  2. Organize all web accounts and passwords? Mostly, but there are still some accounts that I haven’t written down and all of these things aren’t in one non-computer-based spot.
  3. Exercise at least 21 days a month for 30 minutes? I failed so hard at this it isn’t even funny. There was one week where I worked out for 1.5-2 hours for six of the seven days and I was on such an endorphin high and then real life got in the way and everything fell through. As usual, my dieting has been yo-yo and my weight loss non-existent.
  4. Start the “new” blog and make it successful? Well I definitely started Misc Musing and it’s been a trial of love to make it work sometimes, but I would hardly call it successful. Maybe it’s because I’m not blogging every day, maybe it’s because I’m staying on topic or not talking about what people want, who knows? But I’m proud of myself and maybe that’s all that counts.
  5. Beat last year’s new movie record? Nope. Not even close, but maybe that isn’t a bad thing. I watched 106 movies I hadn’t seen before, and this year I’ve watched 85 movies. Close, but no cigar. But I watched a lot of TV shows compared to last year and can now say that I’ve watched all ten seasons of Friends, all nine seasons of Scrubs, and I’m up-to-date on all the posh shows. Plus, watching a lot of movies instead of doing actual things might not be as big of an accomplishment as I would’ve thought at the beginning of 2015.
  6. Figure out a budget for The Captain and me? Did not happen in the least, but I have a fancy new planner to do that with in 2016.
  7. Try cooking a new dish once a month? Yes! At first I wanted to follow recipes and cook entirely new dishes, but as the year went on I realized that cooking new foods or trying new techniques should count too! Please find a complete list of my monthly new food at the end of this.
  8. Work harder to stay in touch with the people I love? Yes and no. I spend a lot of time with The Captain and B, see my mom and sister on a weekly basis, and chat with friends at least a couple times a month, but I could do better.
  9. Finish “The Summer We Fell”? Nope, but I did start and finish a full-length screenplay, write several short stories, and begin a new novel so maybe that’s something? Plus blogging counts as writing.
  10. Send out queries, stories, and articles to publishers, agents, and magazines? I did sent out a query for “Stained” to a couple of agents, but either didn’t hear back or got a rejection. I entered “A Glint of Light on Broken Glass” in a contest and made it close to the finals, but didn’t win. Otherwise there was no certifiable success this year.
  11. Get a 3.0+ GPA in the spring and a 3.25+ GPA in the fall? Definitely not in the spring, but I succeeded in the fall!
  12. Work on figuring out better coping methods for depression and anxiety? Turns out all I needed to do was get off of a medication, spend some time thinking about things, have a Less-Than-Stellar Roommate move out, and I’m good as new. I haven’t had too much trouble with my disorders lately, and that’s good.
  13. Read at least five books that I already own but haven’t read? Yes, but three of them were read in December and I lumped together about ten comic books into “one” book. I counted ‘already own’ as a book that I had before the year started or that I bought and didn’t touch for more than two months. For a list of the five books I read skip to the end of this.
  14. Drink at least 32 ounces of water a day? Again this was on and off, but there was a week where I drank 100+ ounces a day so does that make up for it?
  15. Surprise The Captain more often? I think he surprised me more than I did for him (I mean, the guy proposed) but things are definitely different and I don’t feel like we’re in a relationship rut.
  16. Hang out with my sister more and go places? Kind of, because I am her chauffer and drive her around but we also hang out a couple of times a month and I try to talk to her more often than I was.
  17. Take time to ‘get pretty’ and appreciate myself more? I feel like this is another mixed answer. Yes I took some more time to get pretty, do my make-up, my hair, and all that, but at the same time I had more issues with self-esteem this year and my definition of pretty changed. At some point I stopped caring what others thought of my appearance and started feeling just as beautiful in yoga pants and a big sweatshirt as I do in a dress. I did learn some new make-up techniques and get some amazing new things though.
  18. Create a morning routine? At first this worked, but then I slacked off because of the depression/anxiety and then I just stopped caring. I tried to start again, and failed. Apparently I don’t really like having a solid bullet point routine in the mornings.
  19. Try new situations; give them a chance at least? I’m going to call this a success even though it may not count for much. Since The Captain and I spend a lot of our time at the House we don’t get out and do much so there aren’t too many opportunities for new situations. However, I did try some new things this year that I liked and some I didn’t.
  20. Figure out things to do with the Kiwis in July? Similar to #15 it seems that they were better prepared for things to do than I was. The only real thing I contributed to their trip was throwing a pizza party and being a better driver than I was the first time they came to America.
  21. Smile and laugh often? I think I did 🙂

2015 wasn’t the best year of my life, but a lot of memorable and great things happened in it. I started really trying to blog (staying on topic), got engaged to The Captain, started taking school seriously again, and spent time with the people I love. Still… I’m hoping that 2016 will be better and that I can work on new resolutions to achieve!



January—Shrimp Scampi

February—Parmesan Pork Chop

March—Guinness Beef Stew

April—Chicken Alfredo Pizza

May—Brown Fried Rice

June—Cashew Chicken

July—Parmesan Baby Potatoes


September—Pancake Muffin Bites

October—Chicken Tacos

November—Chicken Noodle Soup

December—Avocado Chicken Pâté


  1. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King
  2. Harley Quinn comics by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti, art by Chad Hardin
  3. Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist’s Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie Is Not the Answer by Jen Lancaster
  4. Girlchild by Tupelo Hassman
  5. Thin by Grace Bowman